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How to identify your soulmate

2021-03-17 . Written by Ziyan

Most of us meet a person from the opposite gender who we instantly get along with, at some point of our lives on more than one occasion. A prominent question among love seekers is how do you know if he/she is the one for you. In my opinion it depends on one's perception of the term "soulmate".


We all agree that different people have different tastes when it comes to choosing their favourite ice cream. Similar to our taste buds, when choosing a soulmate our concioisnes minds instinctively recognise certain charectersics when we start perceiving someone as relationship material. Some of us are attracted to ambitious and hardworking men/woman, the workaholics. Others find people with a more laid back attitude who takes their time in building their own success attractive. It all depends on what kind of person you want to spend your life besides.


Sometimes we see ourselves in other people and find it absolutely amazing. People with a similar approach to work life, people with the same interests and people who have similar thinking processes tend to click instantly. That maybe because their is a lot to talk about. And most importantly your better half would have a higher chance of understanding you in various situations and vice versa.


However, similarities between you and your potential life partner could have it's drawbacks. Imagine talking about how One piece is so much better than Naruto on a daily basis where you both agree to the point where the best response you can give is "same" or "relatable". This is just an example, the point being people tend to get bored of repetive conversations. Another example is when two people are workaholics and they are busy with their own professional life respectively which could lead to rare interactions. Eventually one of them or both might conclude to themselves that they don't need the other person in their life, some may even see their potential better half as a distraction to their daily work life.


Every now and then we meet people who we find extremely different to ourselves in terms of lifestyle, tastes etc.. in fact we might think that he/she is that is the exact opposite of what see ourselves as. But as the saying goes "opposites attract" and it is safe to say this has some truth to it.


Before you conclude that the girl with glasses who sits in the front row is a weird nerd who wouldn't want anything to do with you, think twice. We've heard the saying that goes by "first impression matters" but when we see someone for the first few times and we come to the conclusion that they are what they seem to be, it may not be the case. We cannot and will never truly understand someone else if we don't interract with them in a meaningful way. So try sitting next to that nerdy girl who you low key thought was cute. You might not be surprised but certainly disappointed when you find out she'd prefer to spend her Saturdays reading a book instead of watching football. Maybe disappointed isn't the right word to describe the feeling. Perhaps it's your curiosity kicking in. People who have different thinking processes would keep each other wondering. There will be this mysterious aura that keeps you hooked to texting that person or whatever the interaction maybe. You will also find it much easier to spot your partner's mistakes which paves the way for self improvement in each individual.


On the other hand, people who are very different from each other might have a hard time understanding each other. Everyone has their own ways of coping with emotions. From sleeping extra hours to going out for some fresh air to even eating loads of junk food. each and everyone of us have our unique coping mechanisms. If we think our better half is stupid for eating because it will only make them fatter which they complain about, and make the terrible mistake of being vocal about it at the worst time possible; it could trigger an unhealthy and very much unnecessary argument. When we find someone who's different from us to be attractive then we must try to understand the person. If you are having a hard time doing so, giving them the much needed space could also help.


Just because someone you met is different from you, or because you both think alike, it is important to keep in mind that it doesn't necessarily indicate you'll end up in the aisle. People could be similar in a few way but different in every other aspect. So finding your soulmate depends on indentifying similarities, differences and likeable traits in your potential candidate and most importantly how you perceive them. In conclusion, your soulmate isn't someone who is completely different or similar to you. He/she is someone you can trust and feel comfortable spending a lifetime together, with the willingness to fight every obstacle that comes your way while inspiring eachother to become better versions of themselves. I sincerely hope you find that person.